One year ago...

...I was sitting on a plane headed to Africa.

I had no idea who would be there, what it would look like, or exactly what I would be doing. I had no expectations because I had couldn’t even imagine what to expect. I didn’t know that the next five months would break open my heart and create a new sense of identity, family, and home within me. All I knew was that God called me to South Africa and I went.

A year later I’m sitting in my house, comfortable and pretty sure of what I will do the rest of the day, or even the rest of the weekend…far from the excitement of getting on a plane to Africa.

When I left South Africa, a friend of mine told me that he felt as though God was only beginning with me. It was the bottom of a large uphill journey in my life. I struggle with that now. I am tempted to believe that it wasn’t the beginning of anything. My life has not seemed all that different since I came back to America.

But God challenged me on that belief- He asked me the other day to write down all of the things that happened this year. After listing what God has taught me through 5 months in Africa, 3 months at home for the summer, and 4 months at college- I was humbled. I was humbled by the power of God’s Hand in my life, despite my stubbornness to see it.

Those times that I grew, those times that I was overwhelmingly blessed by God- I didn’t have control. The steering wheel wasn’t in my hands.

It’s like when I got on a plane a year ago- the Spirit of God was leading and all I could do was follow.

I’m thankful God knows I shouldn’t be able to control my life even when I think I know best. Because if I was in control, I’m not sure what this past year would have looked like.

I’ve been reading about how the Spirit leads us in “Forgotten God.” God convicted me with the words:

The fact is that God is calling. The Spirit is beckoning. The real question is will you follow? Will you listen?

His Spirit is calling us. His Spirit is calling me and, I have the choice to surrender and follow. Despite the excuses I make, the feelings I have, and the struggles standing in the way- I still have the decision to surrender to the Spirit or to lead myself. I may struggle with feeling as though I’m living complacently or that I have little purpose where I am. But the fact is that the Spirit is calling me- it is my fault if I don’t follow.

I pray that I can, that we all can, surrender our own plans, desires, and expectations to follow the journey that the Spirit has for us.